The removal men came yesterday to take all our worldly goods to a metal container in Essex. We are camping in our house. It feels good not being weighted down by loads of belongings. I admire the emptiness around me, and wonder if I could live like this forever.
In 2012 when J and E and I stayed in the Lightning Field in New Mexico, I had one of those ‘life changing’ epiphanies. After a night in the bare hut in the middle of the desert, I vowed to purge myself of all unnecessary things when I got back to London. But, as these life changing epiphanies so often do, this one fizzled out to become just another ‘experience’. Life went swiftly back to being cluttered, busy, messy and very unminimal. Maybe a year in Montana will have a more lasting effect.
There are eight days to go until we board our flight to Seattle and drive with our suitcases to Missoula. E is not happy. I overheard her telling Tubby, one of her soft toys, that he didn’t need to cry because we were only going to America for two days. She is angry with me and reminds me that it is my decision to go to America that is making all her friends cry. She likes her school, she loves her friends and she hates hamburgers. Her biggest fear is that she will pick up an American accent. But I am reassuring her that our adventure will start to get adventurous once we actually get going. The anticipation of anything is always worse than the thing itself. And packing up and moving is always tedious. It will be wonderful in Missoula I keep telling her. Maybe she can hear the trepidation in my voice. I tell her it will all be OK. It will be better than OK. Just like it says in our now empty lounge, it will be FUN.